SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
