The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
