Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
