i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
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