based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
