yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
