May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
