the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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