My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
