don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
