Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
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Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
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Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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