So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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