why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
