I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
