Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
