Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
