Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
