The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
