I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
