im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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