I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
