Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
