wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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