Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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