no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
