Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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