That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
