Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
