whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize