Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
