Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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