yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
