her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
