Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
