I wish my penis had an off switch
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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