When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
