i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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