I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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