Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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