I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
