my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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