My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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