something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
