Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
