You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
