My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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