My pussy is not your playground.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
