I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
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