Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
