Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Randomize
