is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
