Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
