talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
