my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
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I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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