Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
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I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
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I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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