a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
