We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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