Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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