I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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